You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When.... 1. You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. 2. You lick your coffeepot clean. 3. You're the employee of the month at the Espresso 4 U coffeehouse and you don't even work there. 4. Your T-shirt says: Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend. 4. You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug. 6. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. 7. When someone says: How are you? You say: Good to the last drop. 8. You're offended when people use the word brew to mean beer. 9. You have a conniption over spilled milk. 10. You think being called a drip is a compliment. 11. You don't get mad, you get steamed. 12. You help your dog chase its tail. 13. You think CPR stands for Coffee Provides Resuscitation. 14. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.